Tuesday, February 16, 2010

"Cheating is all down to women..."

I’m sure you will agree with me that my prior post was not anti-men. But since the men decided to focus on justifying cheating instead of sticking to the topic of divorce as a consequence of cheating, it has become necessary to address this!

Cheating is the fault of the wife; according to feedback I am getting from men! What a load of bull. It’s no wonder men don't stop cheating. Let's get this straight. Cheating is an outward manifestation of a character flaw and lack of control in any human, male or female. It reflects poorly on the cheater. It's a cowardly way out of dealing with issues that come up with most marriages. It's not a unique problem to your marriage I bet but rather than try counseling, communicating or leaving if it's really truly so bad, you cheat and tell yourself she caused it! I've said this before and I'll say it again: “Cheating is a reflection of your upbringing...” For a lot of men, if your father cheated, and you believed it was right or he was your hero, you will too! Even if you believed it was wrong because you felt your mother's pain then, somehow your father must have explained this lie to you and when it became convenient, you bought it. If you have a strong relationship with God that can change but otherwise, it's mostly “Like father like son”. It's just like domestic abuse. Men grow up hating it but then turn around and do the same thing. You can blame the woman all day long for issues in the marriage but it takes two both to break and to fix it. Y'all men might want to think about that...

I get it now. Your mothers never sat you down and said to you, “Son, even though I stayed through all the abuse and the cheating, you must never do that to a woman. I had nowhere to go and I wanted security for you but what your father did all those years was wrong and you must not be like him.”

Men, you may not know this but cheating on your woman or beating up on her makes you a WEAK MAN! You lack impulse control.

My initial post was not even about cheating, it was about alternatives to divorce and the role of forgiveness even in the face of cheating but the men went off on a tangent justifying cheating instead. Now I almost want to bite my tongue and ask all the wives to leave their sorry selves. I am a fair person and I even advocate for men at times but y'all just kill me.

What happened to “For better, for worse; in sickness and in health”? It stops being easy and you bail out. How sorry! It is each partner's duty to figure out the opposite sex and how to make it work with their partners in particular. That is the vow you took when you married the person. If I have sounded angry in this post, it is because the more I thought about it, the more angry I got. For that I apologize. I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and see each side of the coin and all but I can't see this one. I honestly cannot at this point believe that men that I know can come out and say to me that cheating is the fault of the wife!!!

My heart aches for the women who are going through this and for the women who are married to men who think like this because it is only a matter of time...

Quit lying to yourself. If you cheat, you're a dawg, the scum of the earth and that's all there is to it!


    Tell us how you really feel. Both men and women cheat.

  2. Mr. Anonymous is back! There we go again with more excuses. Does that make it right? I know women cheat as well and I would never give an excuse for it. It's despicable behavior regardless of what pushed someone to do it and whatever sex you are. It's a habit that people should work on changing and not justifying why it happens. There are other ways of dealing with conflict in a relationship and going outside of the marriage to have a sexual relationship with another person is not a way of fixing it. Knock, knock...anybody home? Lol
    At this rate Mr. Anonymous will be winning the book giveaway this week if only I knew who he was. I have a pretty good guess though....

  3. On a lighter note Mr. Anonymous, I do appreciate your input and if being anonymous helps you speak your mind and not be politically correct, then by all means do. It does help women to know what mean really think and all that no doubt and we do need it. So do keep coming back. Peace!