Can We Survive Without Our Household Gadgets?

This week, my dishwasher broke. My first thought was, "NOOOOOOOO!" But then I took a minute and thought about it. I realized it wasn't the end of the world at all. I am one of those people who it took a long time to even get dependent on the dishwasher in the first place. I always did my dishes by hand when I was single because unless I had house guests, I didn't really have enough dishes to load a dishwasher anyway without creating an unhealthy environment holding on to dirty dishes! It became so miniscule really that I forgot to even mention to my husband that the dishwasher broke till two days after I noticed it.

It got me thinking however. As I did the dishes by hand last night, I thought to myself, "If my daughter was a teeneger and this was her chore, would she be able to switch it up and just do the dishes by hand?" Then I started to ask myself questions like: "Will I be teaching her how to do a lot of dishes by hand like I was taught just so she knows how even though we have become somewhat dependent on the dishwasher nowadays?" I also asked myself this: "Will I be teaching her how to wash clothes by hand like I was taught or will it all be the washer and dryer?" "If the washer broke, would it be fair to just go to the laundromat and pay for it or a drycleaners as opposed to learning how to wash clothes by hand?"

I decided I would definitely teach her to do dishes by hand but I was torn on the issue of washing clothes by hand though. The dilema here in my mind (it's really all in my mind because this child is two years old!) is this: Where is the balance between preparing them to survive in the world on their own and being well equiped for it and going overboard and taking them back to the dark ages?

I have a lot more examples having been raised partly in Nigeria. We used to sweep manually, even the carpet! We had special brooms that would sweep the carpet or rug well if you didn't want to use the Hoover/ vacuum cleaner.

We even had alternatived to a blender back then in the form of little rock slabs and oval rocks to grind stuff like pepper with. I never got the hang of that one though due to my carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists!

So, what do you think people? Where do we cross over from wanting to raise responsible kids to just plain taking the fun out of life in this century by taking them way back to the dark ages.

Please comment. I am really pondering on this.

Enjoy your weekend.

Folake.

And the winner is...

Well, well, well. This is the last week of the free book giveaway on this blog for now. As you may know, for the last three weeks, there has been a contest in honor of Black History Month for a free copy of The Only Way is Up.
This week, the winner is Fashion Hendricks, Director/Project Coordinator of the Frank Ski Kids Foundation. All of our comments this week have been anonymous incidentally. One person included their first name in the post but only Ms. Hendricks added her last name. I figure it should not be too hard to locate her to claim her free book!

I hope you all had a great week and I wish you a restful weekend.

Peace.

Folake.

Travel-A Form of Education

My English teacher at St Saviours on Old Kent Road in London (Mrs. Leach) used to always say to me: "There is nothing like a well traveled young person!" She believed in me. She made me take my English GCSE 1 year early (High School diploma equivalent) which was a year early for my class but 2 years early for my age, 14 at the time. I passed!

As I talk about in my book The Only Way is Up, global travel is part of education and growth as a person. I know several people who get it. Frank Ski took the boys and girls of the Frank Ski Kids Foundation to the Galapagos Islands, the Amazon and Italy in the last few years. These kids' lives never remained the same.

The Frank and Wanda Morning Show have gone to South Africa, China, Mexico and Dubai with the adults on their Winter trip also over the last 4 years.

As shown on CNN last year, Mallak Compton-Rock, Chris Rock's wife has taken the kids from the Bushwick Salvation Army Community Center in Brooklyn under her wings. She has not only taken them to dinners, movies and college tours but she has traveled with these kids to South Africa, New Orleans and DC. Some of these kids have gone from feeling sorry for themselves and their lives in the projects to being thankful they have a school to go to, unlike some of the kids they saw during their travels. You could tell a child these stories all day long and they would not get it quite the same but when you see it, the impact is different.

It was easy to see what Principal Steve Perry was doing with the kids in Hartford Connecticut when both stories were featured in Black in America 2. We get conventional education. And while everyone applauded the principal for his efforts and many felt Mallak's effort were minuscule at best in comparism, I held a different view because travel is extremely important as well. She focused on non-conventional education but nonetheless, necessary in addition to structured learning in school.  I thought they both did a phenomenal job and both approaches were necessary.

Why not just send them to Disney and be done? Because these people get it! If you don't get it, I challenge you to try it with your kids. It sends a strong positive non-verbal motivational message that gets kids fired up to work hard at school and succeed in life. This approach makes them grow up. It makes them stop taking for granted and appreciating instead. They go from being mediocre to wanting to excel. I challenge you to try it...

What are your thoughts on this issue? Please leave a comment. Thank you.

Folake.

Author Exposure: Book Review: The Only Way is Up

Author Exposure: Book Review: The Only Way is Up

Please click here for other Professional Reviews from Apex Reviews and Midwest Book Review...

It's a great week!

Thank you.

Folake.

Too Much Too Soon

A friend of mine had a question for me about a certain part of The Only Way is Up in the chapter for single ladies very early this morning. It got me thinking. I'll share the quote first:

“For one of my friends, she always seemed to literally fall in love too fast. It was always like falling off the edge of a cliff for her. And somehow, this seemed to scare the men away. She just could not learn how to slow it down just a little and let the man even attempt to catch up with her. If the man lived out of town, she was getting on a plane to go visiting or driving down all the time to see this man who was not making the same effort. She blocked all other avenues of meeting or talking to any other man once this person that she liked started to show the slightest interest. She started to plan her life around the man very early. The man would then give up and move on. She was doing things that would be perfect if the man had committed and they were engaged but this was even before the man knew which way he was going.”

I had to read it over and it got me thinking. Many women have been guilty of this at some point in their lives. We get all wrapped up too early in a relationship and somehow we think the more we do, the more the man will like us and want to be with us. Being the strange creatures that men are, they draw back and get suspicious instead and may even run. My conclusion is that you should give of yourself in small doses even as he is giving of himself. If he is holding back, he is either not into you or he is not there yet and you should hold back a little too. If it doesn't work, your dignity and pride will at least be intact.
A man staying with you and falling in love with you is a combination of some intricate things that only men seem to understand but trying to force it or do too much too soon does not help.
Finding the right balance is the challenge however. Some women hold back too much and come across as not caring at all. This also does not work because men still do want TLC!
What are your thoughts? Please leave a comment.
Thank you.

Folake.

Free Book Giveaway!

Another winner for the Free Book Giveaway will be chosen this Friday, February 26th 2010. Get active on this blog to be entered to win a free copy of The Only Way is Up...

Have a wonderful week.

Folake.

Is Mr. Mom Alright with Mr. Mom?

Mr Mom! This issues came up in my recent interview with Traci on CTB radio while talking about gender roles and submission to husbands and such. My answer to whether I would have a problem with Mr. Mom was of course that I had no problem with Mr Mom. I do not have a personal experience of this to draw on and I don't know too many Mr Moms either. And let us not forget that keeping house especially when it involves one or two toddlers is a full time job on it's own. But from what we see around and in the media, it appears there are two issues that keep coming up in cases where it does not work:
1) If Mr. mom did not choose to be Mr. Mom and it was a role that was thrust on him because he lost his job and the wife had to become the sole bread winner.
2) Mr. Mom does not keep house well; Mr. Mom became Mr Mom without really thinking it through and realizing exactly what it involved. This is typically someone who has always worked and prefers to work. For example, in the case of Jon and Kate as we saw on TV, she got very busy with other things that involved travelling and he became Mr. Mom after having always worked. He was not typically the most domesticated person around with regard to cooking and cleaning etc.

The cases in which it does work however are these:
1) Mr Mom has always loved to cook, clean and keep the kids.
2) Mr. Mom chose to stay at home. It was not decided for him.
3) Mr. Mom has things he can do from home to keep him fulfilled either on a contract basis or otherwise. For example, in the case of Dean McDermot and Tori Spelling, when she was frequently on the road promoting her book and he was home with Liam, he would do Voice over jobs which he could often do from home.
4) Mr. Mom is not married to Mrs. Boss Lady!

It's amazing how in the case of the McDermots, it worked and in the case of the Gosselins, it didn't. It was a very similar scenario with the wives becoming authors and going on the road a lot. They both had reality TV shows running as well. A glaring difference however was the attitude of the two wives. Tori Spelling clearly respects her husband at all times and Kate Gosseling often disrespected Jon a lot even on TV and was in control of the household almost without his input at times. She was always barking commands at him and she seemed to make most of the decisions. So I think we will all agree that a bossy wife and Mr. Mom do not go together.

One of the common bones of contention according to men is that their wives start to lose respect for them when they become Mr. Mom. It's like they become less than a man. Frankly speaking, in a lot of cultures, a man that does pay the bills is not respected. That is not necessarily right but we see it. The women on the other hand complain that this lack of respect comes from the fact that they get home after a ten hour work day and they have to do a lot of the chores the man could have done while he was home all day. It feels like it did when they both worked except that the woman is now working twice as hard at work but still as hard at home! This came up on the Dr Phil show that I dedicated an earlier post to and one of the excuses was that men are not as good at keeping house and multi-tasking. Some women have decided the concept of Mr. Mom does not work for this reason.

There is also the case in which the Mr. Mom arrangement was supposed to be temporary while he looked for another job but somehow, he does not appear to actively looking anymore. He is always on the video game or social networking sites nowadays and they don't even have any kids so he really is not required to be home!

Another issues is the fact that many men do not feel accomplished if they are not working and making money as the bread-winner to care for their family. They feel like their manhood has been stripped from them in this situation. It may not be necessarily true but it is a very common attitude. This often leads to resentment not only of the situation but of their spouse and even depression eventually.

Some of the same scenarios spill over into situations where even though both parties work, there is such a disparity in their incomes with the woman having the capacity to and making sometimes multiples of what the husband makes. We will have to make this a separate discussion, I guess...

So while I personally do not think it is impossible to make a Mr. Mom situation work, the real question for me would be this: "Is Mr. Mom alright with Mr. Mom?

These are just little observations on my part. What do you think? Please share your views. Feel free to be anonymous if you will be able to express yourself better that way.

Have a blessed week.

Folake.

PS: Future discussions will be about wives submitting (or not) to husbands as well as the woman being the breadwinner...

Notable Mention!

We (The Only Way is Up and yours truly) were featured on the Author Exposure website on Wednesday February 17th. Please click here to access the link for the AE Book Club piece. Thank you Traci. You rock!

Thanks.

Folake.

PS: Had another Borders Book Signing today and it was successful like all the others; 4 so far. God is good. For details and pics please visit the Event tab of the main website for The Only Way is Up.

And the winner is...

Well, well, well. We have come to the end of the second week of the Free Book Giveaway. This week's copy of The Only Way is Up will go to...Mr. Anonymous! Mr. Anonymous had the most comments and made the most contributions to this blog this week. Now if he wants to claim this book, or if they want to claim this book (it appears to be at least 2 guys...lol), they can claim it by sending an email to FT@theonlywayisup.net. I will promptly mail them the book. Sounds fair eh?

Have a lovely weekend folks.

Folake.

Dr Phil: Sugar Mamas and Smart Women! (February 17th)

I never watch Dr Phil. I didn't know what channel he came on or what time he came on. But I happened to turn the TV on this Wednesday evening after a day off of running erands, my radio interview etc. The first person I recognized on stage was the millionaire matchmaker who has been looking really good lately and has had the best of advice in all the interviews I have seen her in recently. I always viewed her show as a joke but nowadays, she sounds more like a life coach than an entertainer. I found out she recently got engaged and it all started to make sense. In teaching these girls about men, she had found love. Good for her. The basic principles are the same. It's just much more fun when you love the person. Incidentally, marriages in certain communities have nothing to do with love and more to do with mutual respect and a commitment. These actually statistically work better than countries where it is all about love and not much of anything else. Anyway, I digress.

The topic of the day on Dr. Phil: Sugar Mamas and Smart Women. I had no interest in the Sugar Mama part or so I initially thought but it was just figurative for women who are breadwinners apparently. I caught just the tail end of the discussion but it had me practically on the floor with laughter. Thankfully, most of the trascript is online as well as some clips. I was tempted to purchase the DVD or have them email me the whole transcript till I stumbled on enough of it on their website...I'd called for the price and all actually!

Under the main topic, they talked about When She's the Breadwinner. Some decide this really does not work. They have a clip about women and housework. There's a related article: Parity in Single-Income Families.

Then they talk about how you can be powerful and nurturing at the same time under Smart, Successful ...and Single. Here's a comedian's take on Dating in America! Hilarious!!! The accompanying article is Single and Sick of It?

Here's the part that got me the most: A video of Dr. Phil's producer and her criteria for men. The hilarious part is millionaire matchmaker's comment at the end. She was on the money. That comment made my week really since I'm still talking about it.

I hope you have the chance to read these highlights from the show and the clips. And I hope you are as tickled as I was and more importantly, that somebody learns something from this even amidst the jokes.
Later my people.

Folake.

Communication in Our Relationships is Key!

It came as a surprise to me in the course of responses to prior posts when I found out that men are complaining about their spouses not communicating with them but rather turning to their friends to find out how to deal with their husbands. I just had this discussion with my nurse who is a very good friend as well. I probably spend more of my waking hours with her on the weekday than I do with my family by the way. But we have never asked eachother for advice about how to deal with our spouses. We talk about ourselves all the time; our familes, our kid(s). But I would never go to her to tell her about my issue with my husband and seek her advice. The very nature of human beings and how we seek to be right makes it such that when we do that, we give a view of the story that favors us. That automatically means the advice I get from such cannot be balanced. We do this to validate ourselves but end up hurting our marriages if we take this kind of advice to heart and act on it. If I am married to the man and I can't figure out how to deal with him, why should my friend?
It is surprising to me also because in my neck of the woods, women tend to talk too much and we have to check ourselves in that regard because men obviously shut down when there is "too much noise" and we don't let them get a word in. It is a revelation to me that men who cheat (and attribute it to their wives pushing them away) as well who believe women cause men to cheat (even though they haven't yet) are saying women do not communicate with them enough and turn to others instead. Where are these women who "keep things inside" and won't let their husband know what bothers them? I don't know any...lol.
The thing is however, neither extreme is good. We need to communicate but with mutual respect and just enough that the other person gets the point but without abuse, belittling them or being rude to them.
Please do not go outside of your marriage to ask people for advice. If it's that bad, get professional counselling from a marriage counsellor or your pastor. Let's keep it in the family.
Comments please...

Men and women need to coexist, not compete: Embrace your God-given role women...

I am all for women's empowerment and I consider myself a strong black woman but I also believe men and women have different roles and we need to embrace our roles and not fight it. I refuse to be the angry black woman. There's sometimes a thin line between being progressive and successful as a woman and becoming that person that nobody can live with. I discuss this in depth in my book The Only Way is Up.
The way I look at it is this. There can only be one captain of the ship. There is only one president. He is assisted on the one hand by the vice president and on the other by the first lady. But the bulk stops with him and if something goes wrong, he is responsible, because he is the head. In the home, the husband is the head of the home. The wife is his partner standing by his side, not behind him. But when push comes to shove, he is the protector and he is responsible for caring for his family and protecting them. This is regardless of whether the woman works or not. Being a successful strong woman does not preclude us from being a wife and a good one at that. We just need to keep working on that balance.
The word submission in the Bible is met with so much resistance because people think it means subservience but it doesn't. It just refers to the fact that the ship cannot have 2 captains.
What are your thoughts? Feel free to shoot me down; I'm a big girl! Lol.

Immigrants to the US of A!

Many of us came to the United States from different parts of the world to be part of the American dream. Some people have truly had the experience of the American dream while some others have had such a challenging time that they have had to pack it up and go back home out of frustration. I know quite a few people in my field who did that as a matter of fact; be it the stress of the medical licensing exams or otherwise. But even for those people who have managed to integrate and who are considered successful by any stretch of the imagination, there have been and possibly still are challenges living in America. What are your experiences? What has been the most challenging and what are some of your greatest triumphs as an immigrant to this country? Did you experience any culture shock? What are the specific issues faced raising kids in this environment but with a different value system from what is prevalent in the immediate environment? Please leave comments about your experiences. Thank you.

"Cheating is all down to women..."

I’m sure you will agree with me that my prior post was not anti-men. But since the men decided to focus on justifying cheating instead of sticking to the topic of divorce as a consequence of cheating, it has become necessary to address this!


Cheating is the fault of the wife; according to feedback I am getting from men! What a load of bull. It’s no wonder men don't stop cheating. Let's get this straight. Cheating is an outward manifestation of a character flaw and lack of control in any human, male or female. It reflects poorly on the cheater. It's a cowardly way out of dealing with issues that come up with most marriages. It's not a unique problem to your marriage I bet but rather than try counseling, communicating or leaving if it's really truly so bad, you cheat and tell yourself she caused it! I've said this before and I'll say it again: “Cheating is a reflection of your upbringing...” For a lot of men, if your father cheated, and you believed it was right or he was your hero, you will too! Even if you believed it was wrong because you felt your mother's pain then, somehow your father must have explained this lie to you and when it became convenient, you bought it. If you have a strong relationship with God that can change but otherwise, it's mostly “Like father like son”. It's just like domestic abuse. Men grow up hating it but then turn around and do the same thing. You can blame the woman all day long for issues in the marriage but it takes two both to break and to fix it. Y'all men might want to think about that...

I get it now. Your mothers never sat you down and said to you, “Son, even though I stayed through all the abuse and the cheating, you must never do that to a woman. I had nowhere to go and I wanted security for you but what your father did all those years was wrong and you must not be like him.”

Men, you may not know this but cheating on your woman or beating up on her makes you a WEAK MAN! You lack impulse control.

My initial post was not even about cheating, it was about alternatives to divorce and the role of forgiveness even in the face of cheating but the men went off on a tangent justifying cheating instead. Now I almost want to bite my tongue and ask all the wives to leave their sorry selves. I am a fair person and I even advocate for men at times but y'all just kill me.

What happened to “For better, for worse; in sickness and in health”? It stops being easy and you bail out. How sorry! It is each partner's duty to figure out the opposite sex and how to make it work with their partners in particular. That is the vow you took when you married the person. If I have sounded angry in this post, it is because the more I thought about it, the more angry I got. For that I apologize. I like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and see each side of the coin and all but I can't see this one. I honestly cannot at this point believe that men that I know can come out and say to me that cheating is the fault of the wife!!!

My heart aches for the women who are going through this and for the women who are married to men who think like this because it is only a matter of time...

Quit lying to yourself. If you cheat, you're a dawg, the scum of the earth and that's all there is to it!

Marriage>Cheating>Divorce!!!

Why do men cheat? Topic for another day eh! Marriage>Cheating>Divorce…Is that the normal order of things? Is that the only expected outcome? If there is cheating, there has to be a divorce? The day after the Tiger Woods story broke, Larry King interviewed Joel Osteen who as usual had the most amazing comment about forgiveness and restoration and it was quite humbling to hear in the face of all the media frenzy and the noise on the airwaves.
I have some celebrity examples: On one end of the spectrum we have Hilary and Bill. “I did not have sex with that woman.” Lol. We have Elin and Tiger of course. Then we have John and Elizabeth Edwards as well as Jenny and Governor Mark Sanford (Mark Sanford who had “Met his soulmate”, he told the world). Then we also have the ex-governor of NJ James McGreevey and Dina Matos (he did not give his wife a chance to stay because he was gay!) Then we have the ex-governor of NY Eliot Spitzer and wife Silda Wall Spitzer? Need I go on? Sadly enough, these are not the first couples to go through this and they definitely will not be the last. One would think people would actually learn from these public examples but apparently not. It keeps happening. It doesn't help that the media blows it up and we have a fascination for negative outcomes so to speak. People applaud when there's an ensuing divorce. What's your point of view? And what would Jesus want us all to do-those affected and those watching? Please leave a comment. We would love to hear your opinion.
Please feel free to attack me! All comments are truly welcome. I understand this is a very sensitive and controversial topic and there is no one-size-fits-all kind of answer....

And the winner is...

The winner of a free copy of The Only Way is Up is Tiffany! Tiffany and Traci actually had a tie for the win but Traci conceeded as she has the book. Incidentally, so does Tiffany. We'll see what she wants to do with the new copy...lol. I can guess who she might want to give it to....Tiffany without a doubt is one of my biggest fans.
I love the contributions from Anonymous. I wish I knew who it was though or if it's the same person. If Anonymous wins the contest (they were runner up this time), what do I do with the book?
The next winner will be picked same time next Friday!
Have a wonderful weekend.

Folake.

Are you eagerly awaiting Valentine's day or dreading it?

Valentine's day! Ahhhhh. That day in the year set aside for celebrating love in a special way. Not like we shouldn't celebrate love all year round though...lol.

I have heard several reasons why people dread it. Some people do not have a partner, be it a boyrfriend (or girlfriend) or spouse. Some have a spouse and are not in a good place and feel pressured into making it a lovely day even though they feel nothing like it! Some are just broke (valid reason!) and like Christmas, want the day to just go by fast.

On the other hand, some people have new love in their lives and cannot wait to see what the day will bring: flowers, candy, presents of all sorts...Some people are in a very good place in their marriage or relationship and truly eagerly await that day. Some people have trips planned to beautiful places...The list goes on.
While I cannot change whatever your situation is, I can maybe change how you view Valentine's day, if you are not feeling good about it right about now.

When I was in University in Nigeria, Valentine's day was always a big deal. People would get life size hand made cards from their boyfriends. Nice cakes were also common, fragrances, lingerie, etc. I remember there was a year where I had no boyfriend or anyone in particular who was trying to impress me or catch my attention. I believe it was one of those times when we had a long strike by the lecturers in the universities in Nigeria (Professors) and those of us who lived on the campus because our parents worked there were basically at home for an extended period. I got together with a few of my childhood friends in the same boat and we ordered ourselves a big cake, gave one another presents, and got together in one of our houses for a fun day. Honestly, that was one of the most memorable Valentine days ever for me. Ironic but true. That just goes to show we can make it anything we want it to be and it does not have to be colored by our circumstances which may not be perfect for our so called perception of Valentine's day. Don't let your happiness depend on someone else. Go ahead and make yourself happy. If there is something that you want that nobody is going to buy for you, go ahead and buy it for you! If you're broke, plan to spend your day with people who love and care about you and vice versa.

Please enjoy your weekend and have a fabulous Valentine's regardless of your immediate situation, because you can.

Love you all. Peace!

Folake.

Winner of Free Book Giveaway will be picked tomorrow...

The first winner of the Book Giveaway will be announced tomorrow, Friday February 12th!
There is an ongoing free giveaway of a signed copy of The Only Way is Up every Friday in February to honor Black History Month. The winner will be picked based on contributions to discussions on this blog. Number of comments as well as level of involvement of contributions will be considered. A winner will be announced every Friday this month starting February 12th. This is open to US residents.
Have a blessed weekend and enjoy Valentine's day y'all!

Marriage; a State of Perfect Bliss?

Is marriage really this state of perfect bliss between a man and a woman or is it just a figment of our imagination; a fallacy? I look around and I see real people living real lives with real problems. Many a time, it looks nothing like the Barbara Cartland novels I used to read back in the day. Do I hear someone ask, "Who's that?" Lol. Well, she used to write a lot of romance novels back in the day and I grew up on it; same as Mills and Boons and all the rest of them for those of us who grew up either in the UK or countries colonized by them. (If you grew up in America, don't even try to find out who Barbara Cartland is or what the Mills and Boons series stands for!)
I digress. Many years ago, a happily married man told me on his 16th anniversary (he had been with his wife 20 years but married for 16), "Marriage is the ability to tolerate eachother." Now, that didn't sound very romantic, did it? No. But it was true. And I have never forgotten that advice, because that's really what it was.
Marriage is not a bed of roses. What you experience in marriage is very different from what happens while dating. A lot of times, it's the ability to focus on the good in a person and minimize the ugly so to speak that keeps a marriage going strong. If you go into marriage expecting everything to stay the same as the dating days when you had no kids possibly and life had not really started to happen in it's true sense, you will be in for a rude shock.
I have not been married too many years, but I am an excellent observer. And I strongly feel that a lot of divorces (not all obviously) are based on unreal expectations of marriage and of the next person and possibly expecting them to be our "everything," an unrealistic burden placed on another human being. What do you think? Please leave a comment. Educate us on your experiences; personal or otherwise...Thank you.

A slightly different form of this article was published on Ezinearticles.

5 stars from Midwest Book Review!

I was just perusing the internet as usual this fine Monday evening while watching CSI Miami on TV with my hubby. I went to my amazon.com page and realized I had one more review. "Maybe one of my friends finally remembered to leave a review," I thought. The lack of reviews for my book was so glaring that 2 weeks ago I started to send out text messages to remind my friends to leave a review on amazon.com and not just tell me what they thought of the book. Then I clicked on the reviews link to see who it was and what they had said. To my amazement, it was a review from Midwest Book Review giving me 5 stars. It was short, on point and clearly described my book. Needless to say I am a happy camper. My first professional review has made my night. Please click here to view this review. I am thankful to God even as I await more of his blessings. Wow! What an honor....

Would you be part of a Reality TV Show?

Reality TV shows have become very popular and frankly speaking quite entertaining and very interesting. We have The Real housewives of Atlanta, Real Housewives of Orange County, Real Housewives of New York and the Real Housewives of New Jersey. There's Ron's House and there's Daddy's Little Girls. There's Tiny and Toya. We have The Hills. There's even Frankie and Neffie. There was Jon & Kate Plus Eight! There's Supernanny. Name it, you have it. Everybody is represented. There is something for everyone to watch. Though many of us 'regular folk' like to watch some of these, some of us may not totally agree with the concept of it or necessarily be a part of one if given the opportunity. Some people would do it for the money. Some people would love to be on TV and frankly speaking, it may have it's perks. But some feel like you are 'pimping' yourself or your family if you put yourself out there like that. What do you think?

Book Signings...

Please check out these links for details of Book Signings and their success. I am thankful to God for these and to you all for your support.
Click here for Borders @ East Cobb
Click here for Borders @ Stonecrest
Enjoy your week.

Folake.

Ain't nothing going on but the rent...

...you gotta have a J.O.B. if you wanna be with me! So ladies, how do we choose our men nowadays? Is it about how he looks? Is it about an initial chemistry when you meet him? Is it how tall he is (at least 5 inches taller than you to make up for your 3 to 4 inch heels!) or is it how handsome he is? Are you very much into the complexion of his skin? (Classic tall, dark and handsome!) Is it all about the Benjamins; how much money he makes, what vehicle he drives, what part of town he lives in? Is it about potential; what he does not have yet but you believe he is able to have in the future? Is it about how he treats you and the women in his life? Is it about how much fun you have together and how many parties you can hit on a Friday night? Is it about what department in church he serves in or his relationship with God? Or do we have no criteria at all and we just go with the flow or what feels good for the moment? Please discuss...

Free Book Giveaway!

There will be a free giveaway of a copy of The Only Way is Up every Friday in February to honor Black History Month. This is open to US residents. The winner will be picked based on contributions to discussions on this blog. Number of comments as well as level of involvement of contributions will be considered. A winner will be announced every Friday this month starting February 12th. Let's go people...

Can a woman raise a boy to be a man? What is the role of a father in a young girl's life?

This is a question that comes up almost on a daily basis in this country because of the disproportionate number of single parent families in our society. I have heard so many different arguements. "I don't need a man to help raise my child," said a woman on the radio the other day. "I own my own business; I drive a mercedes...." But then we hear of cases of young boys becoming teenagers and it suddenly becomes very hard for their single mother to cope with them. Or it could be the young lady who has no self esteem and has no idea what to expect of a man because there was no example. Not to blame the mothers who sometimes did not make a choice to be a single mother or even the fathers who for one reason or another cannot be part of their child's life on a daily basis. Some people are unfortunate, some people are unwise and some people make bad choices. But the people who really suffer seem to be the children involved. And there is such a huge absence of fathers compared to absent mothers...I don't want to write too much. I'd prefer for this to be interractive. What is your take on this? Is it alright to just have kids out of wedlock and choose to be a single parent? Is it fair on a child to have one and not both parents? Can a woman raise a boy to be a man? Can a young girl have a balanced upbringing without her father?

Another Blog?

Yes! Another blog. Welcome to the official blog for my debut self help and motivational book, The Only Way is Up: The Journey of an Immigrant. My aim is to touch on a lot of societal issues and address the decline of the intact family unit. My aim is to add my own 2 cents to the restoration of that which we have lost, with your help of course. Over time, I hope to take you through a journey of discovering the power that you have within by touching on the issues that are addressed in my book such as identity, self esteem , self worth, success, nutrition, health, weight, diet, relationships, global exposure, faith and so much more. Please click here to visit my book website and learn more about it.
Come along with me on this journey of self discovery...I promise to make it fun, stimulating and enlightening.

Folake Taylor, MD.