Thursday, March 4, 2010

A Blurring of the Distinction Between Marriage and "Everything Else"

We are in an age where people treat relationships like marriage and marriage like relationships. By relationships I mean dating or even being engaged: Basically anything before the marriage vow. Is this distinction blurred secondary to an epidemic of co-habiting and our so called modernized attitude to everything? I wonder. Values have become old fashioned. In a relationship where you have not made that legal commitment and that covenant between both parties in front of God and man, certain issues should be deal breakers such as domestic violence. If we are doing things the right way which unfortunately we often are not, the issue of infidelity should not even come up in relationships. It should only be a concept in a marriage gone wrong!

I notice especially on the radio that when people give relationship advice nowadays, the advice for marriage and dating is often the same. It makes me wonder if I am the only person that thinks different rules often apply and both cases are not the same.

Certain things happening in a relationship is your chance to walk away from a life of turmoil with this person. On the contrary, in marriage, I believe almost every situation should be worked out or at least an attempt made to honor that vow no matter what. We do forget the part where we said, “For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.” If it’s no longer good, we want to run.

The other day on the radio, a lady had called in with doubts about marrying this man who she had been with for 5 years and they had 3 kids together! It sounded to me like that was not the right order of things and she was in a pickle right there...

What I see more often than not is this confused state where we are working too hard at relationships and not hard enough at marriage. I ask myself, “Is it just me?”

Please leave your comments. Thank you.



  1. Facebook exchage:

    The lines are certainly blurred and they have been for sometime in the developed world. That essentially explains the high stats for divorce. The reasons for the blurring of lines will need a hardback, but the fact the people divorce more than once goes to that they do not really accept or understand the vows made on the wedding day. JAF

    Folake Taylor: So true my dear and so sad. I believe when you have to do it over and over though, you need a long hard look at yourself!

  2. Facebook comment:

    D.A.: folake i agree . marriages are no longer what they used to be.they are at best an association of convenience and at worst a temporary fix.not for the long haul.thats the mindset now a days.pretty sad.