Wednesday, November 7, 2012

RIP White Supremacy: Welcome, The New Face of "We The People."


Behold, the new commander-in-chief; 4 more years!
From HelloBeautiful
Oooooo baby, here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours! Yes, that's the song the first family came out to last night, for the victory speech. 

I love all people, Caucasian, African Americans, Africans, All black people, Hispanics, Asians, everybody. But I abhor prejudice, and racism.

And I can't for the life of me understand this statement I kept seeing from Caucasians about "taking our country back" and "we the people."

And even Mitt Romney was big enough last night to say we should "put the people before the politics." I truly hope he does that, as well as the top Republicans and the whole country in general. I hope he and Ann will not only pray for the country but actively work with President Obama to effect positive change in this country.

As someone who has never been a big fan of folk having too many kids, and being a big supporter of birth control, I don't want to jubilate about the increasing percentage of Hispanics in certain key states and in the entire US in general, but I have to. Because that right there is the key to the changing face of "we the people." America is a melting pot and it's for everybody that makes it here and becomes a citizen, whether you got here 20 years ago, or your ancestors did 100 years ago. As long as you're not Native American, you or your ancestors came from somewhere. So, how dare you feel more entitled than the next man?


"...you cannot take America back from Americans. We are America too!"--Angelia Vernon Menchan, author, blogger, mentor.

Get with the program and take heed. When I see Latino voters in FL going up between 2008 and 2012 and I hear CNN say they now constitute 10% of the US population which for the first time is in double digits, I can safely say, "God don't like ugly," to those prejudiced extreme right winger tea party types.

Here are the CNN numbers: Florida Latinos 17%, Nevada Latinos 17%, New Mexico Latinos 37%, Colorado Latinos 11%

First Family

We prayed and he answered. God, that is. Search yourself, look within and if you cannot truly say there has been no prejudice involved in this "we the people" and "take our country back attitude," I urge you to repent, and embrace your fellow man. I especially say this to so-called Christians and pastors who don't believe they're racist but really act like it. There is no room in heaven for prejudice.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

Ana Novarro (R) said on CNN: (Of President Obama) It was because he tried, we knew he liked us...his tone was the correct tone. And because he tried, he tried on immigration reform. I will tell you, Mitt Romney lost this race in the Republican primaries. He self-deported from the White House. He didn't have to go...we cannot pretend that some of the things that were said about Latinos and about immigrants in the Republican primaries were not hurtful. Look at the numbers, they speak for themselves...Latinos were disillusioned with Barack Obama, but they were absolutely terrified of Mitt Romney.

When we look at a room full of Republicans, it should look like America. It should not be a room full of Caucasians and barely any other group of people. In addition, alienating groups of people such as women, the 47% freeloading, those on government assistance, students, the low socioeconomic group in general, veterans and gay Americans does not help your plight.

And we all need to work together.

House Speaker Boehner's (R) initial statement last night was that Republicans offered solutions while their opponents chose inaction. And that GOP's retaining of the House majority meant that there was no mandate to raise taxes. This morning, he says that the decision by voters to keep a Democrat in the White House and Republicans in control of the House means they are looking for political leaders to find common ground. Boehner said that the elections were a mandate to take "steps together" to boost the economy. Guess he slept on it. Hahaha.

Congratulations President Barack Hussein Obama. You're one of a kind!

We the people have spoken. Accept it and let's get the work done. TOGETHER.



Blessings.

Folake.

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Barack and Michelle
Huffington Post



Monday, November 5, 2012

SVT: The Thorn in my Flesh

The highest HR this device
could read on me.
At > 200, it gave an error.
Normal HR=60-
90
Do you know what it feels like to have all these things in your mind that you want to do, and your body, your heart can't take it?

What's SVT? Supra ventricular tachycardia. It's these episodes where your heart beats so fast (in my case, in the 200s) that you can see and feel it jumping in your chest. And you usually have some chest tightness, shortness of breath and lightheadedness with it. You could even pass out. For days after, one could feel sapped of all energy. And it can be dangerous but so far, God has been good. People have had heart attacks from it. With my medication and a certain bearing down maneuver that we call the valsalva, I am able to break an episode without calling 911, at least not since the first one when I ended up in the ER two and half years ago.


But it's that thing among a few others that stops me from being the superwoman I want to be in my head. The one that doesn't allow me to juggle wife, mother, MD, author, blogger, mentor as well as I would like. I know how Apostle Paul felt when he spoke about the thorn in his flesh that God didn't take away.


But I don't write this for pity. I write it to encourage others that they are not alone in dealing with health problems and limiting factors in their bodies. The good thing is this. My soul and my spirit are untouchable. And the joy of The Lord which is my strength makes me sing this morning as I get over an episode, "I'm reaping the harvest God promised me. Take back what the devil stole from me. And I rejoice today. I shall recover it all." As you can see in the 2nd HR (heart rate) reading below, my HR is back to normal.



Sing with me. God is good. Will work on getting that ablation to fix the SVT (where they burn off the extra nerves in the heart firing abnormally) and pray it succeeds. The devil has stolen a lot more than my health from my family this year but we cling unto God in faith because it is well with our souls.

Any type of heart disease is no joke. Author Dee Stewart recently died at my age after a decade of battling heart failure from peripartum cardiomyopathy. May her sould RIP. 

What thorn do you have in your flesh that you are pushing through?




Blessings.

Folake. 



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Friday, November 2, 2012

I Am Done With Nigerian Chauvinistic Males! It's 2012.

There I was going about my business... Let's back up a little, actually. Just a little background here. Granted that I have more time on my hands these days due to circumstances beyond my control. But I make the best of it. I do a lot of constructive things on Facebook, especially with the US general elections coming up--Obama 2012. I do a lot of things. I have a platform. And I get inbox messages daily about how much people enjoy my posts and love coming to my page. There are people who come to my page every evening after work to see what I posted for that day and digest it. Be it health, politics, religion, marriage, raising kids, pop culture, I do it all. And I appreciate you all. 


L-R: Dr. Lara Agbaje, nee Lawal; Dr. Mackay Ola;
Dr. Folake Taylor, nee Kolawole (me)
So, like I was saying, I was minding my own business when this photo of me and some friends from 18 years ago was posted on one of their pages. I was so young, barely an adult. We all looked great. I was excited. I tagged us girls in the photo and shared on my page. After all, that's what Facebook is about, generating conversation. Then comes a certain Mr. Olowu with his negativity:

1st commenthmmm Mackay ladies man

2nd commentAsewo Doctor

3rd comment Ujesha ashewo binu ori ke temi to mi ru now

I tried really hard to ignore it, after all, he wasn't directly talking about me. Mind you, asewo in Yoruba means prostitute or ho. So when you call a man that, you're calling him a male ho. After deliberating a little further, I decided that I was definitely offended. Here's the comment I left: 

My comment Meanwhile, Mr Olowu, have you considered that the male prostitute comment might be offensive to the females in the picture? It's degrading and uncalled for because it's not just a comment about Mackay, it's about us in the photo too. I am offended. We are fully clothed and doing nothing worthy of such a comment.

I don't know if he got to read my comment or not but he was promptly deleted by my friend and old colleague, Mackay, who posted the picture, the object of the comments. It makes me sad that even in 20 years, Mr. Olowu might still be the same. He probably has a wife at home, who has to live with that attitude and behavior. 


Dodo (Fried Plantain)
Courtesy of Heart-to-heart with Jumoke
on Facebook
Now, earlier in the evening, I'd seen a photo of a plate of dodo on Facebook, which I'd shared on my page and generated a lot of comments (see left). I'd also gone out and bought me some plantains from Kroger , which they kept calling ripe bananas, grrrrr. Lol. Anyway, I made a dish of the dodo, with beans and efo elegusi (greens with melon seed), hen and stew. I took photos with my iPhone and posted (see below), and it generated even more conversation about food and we generally had a fun time on my page. Then comes a certain somebody I grew up with. I'll skip his name because I see the comment is missing this morning, which shows me that he probably realized it was inappropriate later on last night and took it down. I will paraphrase what he said however: 


My dinner of dodo, efo elegusi,
beans, hen and stew
"You confuse me. Which one is it. This minute you are talking about Obama, the next minute, dodo, and the next, who knows? Why don't you face yourself, your family, your work? Are you alright?" 

Before I get mad about stuff or protest, I do step back and think about it. After all, the Bible says "Be angry and sin not." I try to make sure that by the time I address issues, I am completely in my right mind and civil, so I don't say things I will want to take back later, especially since it's in writing, on Facebook. So here was my initial response:

You're too funny. Is eating not part of family life? Did you not eat dinner today? Abeg, leave me o. :)

But I could not stop thinking about it. And by the time I woke up this morning, I knew I was going to address it, because these stereotypes, and biases against women, and the fact that we don't even realize it is rude and disrespectful to say these things, is a problem. I'm not sure if someone else on that thread 'checked' him about it or he 'checked' himself, but his comment went poof overnight. 

Hear ye, hear ye. Nigerian men, this is 2012. Wake up. If I can go to school, get a job and earn more money than many of you, I can have an opinion about politics and express it. And it doesn't take away from me being domesticated, or a real woman. I can still cook, clean, bathe my child, attend to my husband and be a great wife and mother. You may not understand or be able to fathom it because it doesn't work that way in your home, but be open to new things. We are no longer in the 19th century. Some women are the breadwinners in their home. We need to be respected and appreciated for it, not put down. 


Making history picketing for Health Care Reform,
the Affordable Care Act, in 2009
I am an activist. I will always be, to some degree, because I abhor injustice. I will continue to help people, entertain others, and just simply hang out with the rest. It's OK. In addition to being a wife and mother, I'm a doctor, I'm an author, a mentor, a blogger, and of course an activist. One does not get in the way of the other. I speak for those who do not have a voice. For more information about what I do, Please visit my page on Facebook and check out these photos.


Most importantly, Mr. Taylor is not complaining. He is very pleased with me, in fact. Tend to your own flower and let another tend to his. 

Blessings.

Folake. 

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Thursday, November 1, 2012

"Be thankful child. Some folk just lost their homes to Sandy."

NJ Photo courtesy of Washington Times
As I picked my child up from after school today, she wanted to pitch a fit because I had no snack in the car for her. So, I had to set her straight. After all, some people just got displaced by the flood, as a result of Sandy. 

I make sure that I don't have a snack in my vehicle every single day, because the house is only 5 minutes away, and I don't want her to take things for granted, and stop appreciating treats. At 5 years old, she can wait five minutes. So, I quickly reminded her that if she didn't stop talking, her TV privilege would quickly follow and go poof.

As we got home, I turned on the TV to CNN for a 5 minute lecture. I normally don't let her watch the news, but this was a teachable moment. She saw enough. A couple who survived the storm and flooding, but stepped on a live wire while walking their dog. They both perished. A couple who had a mishap with their truck after surviving the initial storm. They both died, and their two kids survived, also in the truck. A man who died while helping someone who had a tree fall on their house. A volunteer firefighter from Connecticut who died in the line of duty. Then came the pictures of flooding, aerial views of whole streets still filled with water on the grid system, looking like little boxes of houses on water. 
Cuba
Courtesy of Popdecay

By the time I switched the channel back to Smile of a Child, her favorite, she'd learned a new lesson, to be thankful that we are alive, Daddy, Mommy and Jordan. To still have our home, to have food, and to have electricity to watch TV. Those who were affected by the storm are not being punished, it's just life. And we are not better than them. That was the last I heard about her pouting.
Haiti
Courtesy of Popdecay
We are thankful and feel blessed and our hearts go out to the victims of Sandy. We appreciate Chris Christie, President Obama, Mayor Bloomberg, FEMA, firefighters, the National Guard, the Police and all of the elected officials and volunteers working hard to fix this. Everybody has put politics aside on this. Well, almost everybody. Moving on. 

We pray for a speedy recovery. 

Blessings. 

Folake.

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The Way Forward: Tyler Perry the Guardian Angel

What does it mean when someone says to you, "So, what are your plans now?" It can mean a host of things. Depending on how old you are, what skills you have, how much education you have. Or not.

When I watched Oprah's interview with Bobby Christina after Whitney Houston passed, and Oprah asked her something to that effect, my heart went out to her when she said something in the neighborhood of singing and dancing. 


Why?


Well, my first instinct was this. Poor child. Maybe you can dance, baby girl, but if you could sing, at 19, shouldn't we already know it? With no plan for college or further education, your skill had better be good, even as Whitney Houston's daughter. People will forget you very fast, and that fortune that seems endless today, will go poof if handled improperly. After all, Willow Smith isn't telling us she will sing, she is singing. But then again, her family might have been telling her all of her life that she can sing just like her mama!


So, when I started to see Bobby Christina on episodes of For Better or Worse by Tyler Perry on TBS on Friday nights, I wanted to jump for joy. And he said it himself to Katie Couric recently. He wanted to help her because Whitney was a friend and the circumstances around her death, her struggles and finally succumbing to that evil were so tragic, but boy, was he glad when he realized she actually didn't suck at acting! This goes to say that at least some element of skill or a gift is needed, to succeed at anything in life, no matter who you are. 


TP truly is her guardian angel. I'm sure he can help her excel at acting. And as Bobby and Whitney's daughter, maybe she can sing and dance, or one or the other. But it doesn't always work that way. She can act though.


Even Gary Houston when interviewed about his sister kept saying, "The gift came through her." That is, the gift of singing that Cissy Houston has was inherited by Whitney specifically. And even though the whole family sang, including Gary, he knew he needed another day job and that was not his primary calling in life, unlike his little sister who was born to sing. 


When I look at Jordan's drawings, I don't see much of Layi's artistic genes in there, or mine. Considering that Layi could have made art his primary job, and that I was so good as a child that teachers would have me do huge portrait drawings for posters to hang up on the walls in class as a permanent fixture, if Jordan has some art in her, I am yet to see much of it. But she is one smart cookie. :)


Consider the Braxton sisters, I watched Toni Braxton on TVOne recently, talking about how she could never get rid of that guilt about being the talented singer and always feeling the need to include her sisters. But it never worked, because it was her gift, not theirs, though very gracious and sweet of her. They could sing, and they backed her up fine, but they were not mega superstar singers. And though I've never seen their reality show, it seems they're on to something there. Ya can't force it, you can only tap into what's already there, and build on it. Joe Jackson pushed all his kids but we can see we only truly have 2 mega superstar singers in the mix: Michael and Janet. 


The next time someone asks you what your plans are for the future, or the next time your mind wanders in that direction, ask yourself first, what am I good at? Is there a way that I can improve that skill, either with education, certifications, training, or just practice? Who can help me get there? What can help me get there?It's not magic. There's the God-given skill or gift and then, to complement it, there's the hard work like what Beyonce, Whitney, etc have exhibited in their career. 


And if your skill or gift does not yet pay your bills, find something else that can pay your bills in the meantime, unless off course, you're Bobby Christina and your bills are paid. God bless her. 


Recognize your skill, or gift. Then build on it, nurture it, hone it, feed it, practice it, and pray for God's blessing on it. And don't forget to ask someone who is not your friend or family member if they really think you're good at it too. 


Blessings.

Folake.

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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Neighborhood

I'm back!

Are you friends on Facebook with your co-workers and neighbors?
How do those pre-existing or otherwise stable relationships tie into social media?

So, here's the deal. As hard as his might be for you to believe, especially those of you who are on my personal Facebook page and know how vocal I am about politics and religion, I am not that way 24/7. And I am serious as a heart attack. I gotta exercise wisdom, preserve relationships. I also don't go around expressing my view without holding back, on other people's pages and all over the Internet. I'd be kicked out of a lot of places if I did. I can safely say that has happened only a few times. Teehee.

I don't usually do Facebook friendships with current coworkers, with some exceptions. And so far, no current neighbors.

I had cause to review my unofficial policy yesterday. (I actually wrote this yesterday which would make that 2 days ago, but due to some Blogger issues, I'm just now posting.) I love my neighborhood. We have only 12 houses. All the kids get along. Most of the moms are stay-at-home moms, so we're safe. You'd have to be stupid to drive to my subdivision to try and rob somebody. It's a good feeling.


Anyway, yesterday, we had a neighborhood potluck. Some of you might have seen one or two pictures of a "frozen Jordan" on Facebook. (Jordan is my 5 year old.) Then somehow, this idea of starting a page for the neighborhood brewed and as soon as I woke up this morning, I had an email inviting me to become friends with our neighborhood.

Screech to a halt.  


I was expecting a closed group. I knew we couldn't do a page because it would be open. So I start to think. Hmmm. If I become friends with "the neighborhood," they can access my profile. Y'all know I live in an Atlanta suburb, right? Surrounded by none other than Republicans. Yes, the GOP. Just the other day, a mom came up to me in Jordan's school and said, "I could have sworn we were the only Democrats in this school." I figured she saw my bumper stickers. She made me smile. Anyway, I digress.

So I think to myself. Should I suggest that we do a closed group? But then, a few people had already become friends with, you got it, "the neighborhood." Should I explain why I can't do it? Should I share my past experience- the one where all the moms in Jordan's home daycare descended on my Facebook page because I posted the video of someone throwing a shoe at George Bush. I felt like they were clawing my face out. It's OK to disagree with me, but it's my page, and my opinion, and I already knew the guy was safe so excuse me for offending you. It was very awkward because in real life, even though these ladies were not my best friends, we had no issues and got along fine. Eventually, I deleted the ones who didn't delete me first, because Facebook with them was just not necessary. While I never went to their pages to comment when they upheld their Republican views, I didn't care for the Nobama stickers and things I was subjected to either. And I realized, Facebook didn't add to our relationship, it took away from it. They had never made one positive comment on my page, or liked even one photo of Jordan. They were not my friends.

So, after much deliberation, I decided that none of the options before me on what to do with "the neighborhood" was a good option. I'd go with the option that would not take away from our good neighborly relationship (even if it didn't add to it), and not become Facebook friends with, wait for it, "the neighborhood."

What say you? What has been your experience?


Blessings.

Folake.

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